Quick Impressions 

Well its that time of year again, no not that loving Christmas cheer time, but instead the sweet sweet relief of no school no job and plenty of free time to catch up on things I missed throughout the last 6 months or so. As is always the case around this time of year, I reach back and play games I missed or watch movies and television shows I neglected to see. Now I have already accrued a massive pile of games, movies and shows so I wont have time to review each let alone complete most, but I can write up a quick impression of each to at least jot down my thoughts and give anyone reading this some sort of barometer on the quality of said entertainment. This article will be updated, so scroll down often as I'm sure this will go on for awhile, like I said lots to catch up on.

A 2-D side-scrolling stealth game, a shame I didn't check this game out sooner as it would have easily made it into my Top 10 Games of the Year. Either way I'm enjoying the hell out of it now. Stealth games are traditionally frustrating as they can be hard to decipher, not knowing what the AI's line of sight is like and generally what the boundaries of the stealth mechanics are. Mark of the Ninja is a hugely empowering stealth game, one where the systems are front and center providing every bit of information you could ever need at any given situation. The game also provides you with tons of possibilities with upgradable abilities and multiple paths through a level. The game also looks great which should be no surprise as the game was made by Klei Entertainment the developers behind the badass Shank. Overall Mark of the Ninja is a fun stealth game with a lot of depth. Consensus: Highly Recommended.

Yeah I know what your thinking, "DLC a year after the games release and tepid response?". Sure shocked me, but with a $5 price tag it was a low barrier for entry and a decent reason to dust off an old game. I actually completed this but didn't feel it warranted a full review. At around two hours The Scorchers as this DLC is titled is a lot more of the same linear corridors with tons of enemies with great AI to fight. The DLC adds one new weapon which is pretty all purpose alternating from shooting fast, through walls, and pinning enemies to walls. But the content while good looking offers nothing exciting for even interesting. Unless you were a huge fan of Rage, which I can't imagine too many people were, then continue ignoring this games existence. Consensus: Ehh.

Did anyone think their needed to be a sequel to Taken, I mean sure the first film was a surprisingly good time and Liam Neeson proved he could carry an action film and look badass doing it, but really another one. This is another in a depressingly long list of movies that prove Hollywood is tapped out of new ideas. This film is mind numbingly boring and terribly directed. The action is so poorly cut together its disorienting and needlessly over choreographed. The plot is simple and predictable and really this write-up has already gone on longer than this movie deserves. Consensus: Late Night Cable Viewing ONLY

A Mass Effect anime may not be the first medium that springs to mind when expanding the fiction, but BioWare has sanctioned a side-story focusing on nobody's favorite character from Mass Effect 3, James Vega. Lets get this over with quickly so I can talk about quality things instead, the animation is terrible, the voice acting is sub-par and the ties to Mass Effect are poor. Mass Effect is a high-concept sci-fi rpg, not an over the top anime and any references to the games come off as bewildering and grasping for fan service. Consensus: Stay Clear

Another XBLA game I missed when it was initially released. Mixed review and a stiff price point made it hard to take the plunge but thanks to recent sales I got to try my hand at this throwback side-scroller. Deadlight is set in 1980's zombie apocalypse, and pays homage to classics like Flashback and Fade to Black. Gorgeous visuals, brooding atmosphere, and a measured pace make this an eerie but beautiful world to navigate. Which is really what the game is all about, combat even once you acquire a gun is a last resort and is more about avoidance than taking on a hoard of undead. Navigating the environment taking in the scenery and ambiance is where this game truly shines, great animation and a shadowy look to the world make it a pleasure to take in, unfortunately great visuals don't make for the most interesting game as the story is pretty flat and there isn't much to the game play. But if you could enjoy sitting back and soaking in some great aesthetics and mood this is a game bursting with atmosphere it just doesn't offer much else. Consensus: Good, Maybe for you

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey Review

The Hobbit takes place 60 years before the events in Lord of the Rings and so Middle-Earth is a very different place. Tonally very different from the Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit exudes slap-stick and whimsy in place of doom and gloom and it makes for a fun adventure even if the first half of the film is padded out too long. The Hobbit film was initially conceived as two films but Peter Jackson wanted to flesh out the world while simultaneously bridging it with the Lord of the Rings, thus turning what is a relatively slight novel into its own trilogy. It's impossible to tell how that decision will influence the trilogy as a whole but this entry suffers from serious pacing issues. The most noteworthy thing about these new films is that they are being crafted by the same exact team that brought us the now classic Lord of the Rings trilogy and having all those same creative minds working on a series of films set in the same world is promising.

The Hobbit follows Bilbo Baggins as he is recruited by Gandalf to join a company of 13 dwarves led by Thorin Oakenshield on their quest to take back their home, Erebor which was taken by the dragon Smaug. The first major problem the film runs into is in how long it takes for the aforementioned adventure to begin in earnest. These early scenes feel overly long and awkwardly stretched which is confounding as the films run-time sits at 2 hrs. and 46 mins. which could have been reduced by removing some completely unnecessary and non-plot related scenes. Though don't let that hefty time investment turn you away, because once the film gets going you'll be wanting the eventual 9 hour trilogy to continue non-interrupted. My last criticism lies in this films overuse of CGI something that distracted and annoyed me throughout the film. The main antagonist is 100% CGI and thus 100% nonthreatening and uninteresting, which is made even more confusing since there is nothing about him that could not have been done with great costumes and prosthetics a feat the original trilogy was hailed for.

But in the end there is no question if you loved The Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit is a fantastic trip back to Middle-Earth filled with all your favorite characters. There appearances in this film may feel contrived but you'll find it hard not to sit up in your chair when Gollum appears on screen. The film is visually breathtaking even with its overuse of CGI and performances of Bilbo, Thorin and Gandalf keep the film grounded among the fantasy elements. The Hobbit is only the first part of a planned trilogy but it stumbles too often to reach the heights of greatness established by its older more groundbreaking older brother.

(4 out of 5)

Far Cry 3 Review

Far Cry 3 effortlessly perfects what the previous installment in the franchise only experimented with. A fully realized gorgeous living world. One in which the systems in place only ever serve to entertain and rarely frustrate which given the scope and ambition of the game is an impressive feat. Far Cry 3 begins obnoxiously with a bunch of posh pop-collared assholes sipping sambuca and generally acting like complete douche-bags  bragging about their rich fathers. But it seems the island and its inhabitants have had enough of your character and his shitty friends as the game cuts to a wonderfully despicable villain named Vaas giving a fantastic monologue about how he intends to ransom you and then sell you off into the slave trade. From then on out Far Cry 3's story bounces from forgettable to intriguing but overall falls flat after the promising intro. Instead the fun is in exploring the island and combating its predators, both two legged or four.

One of the things Far Cry 3 does so well is implement many different systems and then let them run wild. Say you are given a mission to track down the local pirate leader. Along the way you trek through a jungle bustling with life and beauty, birds fly above the trees as light shines through the canopy, wild dogs bark in the distance. You come across a river, your target is in his camp on the other side, you pull out your camera a device which lets you tag enemies, you locate the leader but he is in the middle of the camp surrounded by attack dogs and thugs with guns. You distract some of them with a rock and snipe some of the unsuspecting enemies, the leader strays from the group you follow him hiding in the bushes but never crossing the river and for good reason as you notice the rather large crocodile lurking on the river bank. You lure the unsuspecting pirate leader towards the river with rocks, he notices the croc to late. The ferocious creature has its victim and your target by the waist and proceeds to drag the poor pirate to the bottom of the river thrashing violently until the water runs red. Mission Accomplished. Far Cry 3 is masterful in its ability to leave so much up to the living world and player choice and yet always maintain a level of enjoyment and polish that's rare among even the best games.

Far Cry 3 is a master stroke of open world design. It succeeds in making elements that are notoriously bad in all video games, under water sequences and first person platforming, highly enjoyable. There are some negatives as the AI of any one of the living things in the world can sometimes appear lost before realizing what it should be doing in a particular situation. Hunting which is a large part of the game as it nets you upgrades through a very rudimentary but highly addictive crafting system can be frustrating when after you have downed an animal it disappears or you simply cant find it. There is online multiplayer and co-op reminiscent of Left 4 Dead but neither are as well thought out and executed as the single-player campaign. Far Cry 3 offers a stunning world that is an absolute joy to inhabit, it is impeccably designed and polished with great thought given to every bit of the game and contains some of the best digital performances in a video game  Far Cry 3 bestows pure elation and is an experience not to be missed.

(5 out of 5)

Mass Effect 3: Omega DLC Review

Mass Effect 3 was lacking in a lot of ways, one of the more disappointing failures were the ways once fully fleshed out and beloved characters were given little more than cameos and a handful of dialogue. The latest DLC hopes to rectify that in some small way by crafting an entire adventure around fan favorite character, the Queen of Omega, Aria T'Loak. As players remember Aria was displaced from her throne in Mass Effect 3 reduced to a far less impressive sofa outside the club on the Citadel, with one measly side quest that involved zero combat. Upon booting up the newest add-on Aria invites Shepard along a surprise offensive to retake Omega from the Cerberus forces that now control it. But will the combined help of Aria and the series first appearance of a badass female Turian help you against the Cerberus forces and a frightening new Reaper enemy.

This entire adventure feels like one spirited and exciting action movie. More cinematic than typical missions in the game Omega benefits greatly from a confined and brisk pace and balanced tone.With more Paragon/Renegade prompts than the entirety of the main campaign, Omega seems like a direct response to fans criticism of the main game and its all the better for it. One moment in particular had me second guessing my choices as the prompts appeared again and again as both parties screamed and urged me to side with them and with innocent lives on the line it was a particularly intense moment. Aria is her typical bitchy self but its the supporting characters that really make this particular episode in the Mass Effect universe shine, Nyreen the first female Turian introduced in the whole series is a welcome addition as is her past with Aria which is slowly revealed throughout the game and reveals the true nature of these characters. Even the villain of the story, Cerberus General Petrovsky is an interesting foil with a moral code and reasonable goals that even make him relatable at times. Omega also offers a fairly large campaign with gorgeous and varied environments that took me around 4 hours to do everything available. Those four hours are pretty action packed with tons of combat, with less of an emphasis on dialogue than usual. At $15 its quite a steep price to ask but I feel the little adventure is worth it for fans of the series and any minor technical blemishes don't hinder an otherwise steller action packed adventure you won't soon forget.

(4 out of 5)

The Walking Dead (Game) Finale Review

Here we are at the conclusion of the 5 episode long season of The Walking Dead from Telltale and what a journey this has been. But now as I'm sitting here contemplating my time with each episode and the permanent emotional scar the finale has left on me I'm struggling to let go. Telltale has accomplished in 5 episodes what most television shows take years to do. I feel like a piece of me has left and I don't know how to feel about that, it was the same for me after the show Chuck ended, this empty whole where beloved characters lived is now vacant. The Walking Dead made me so invested in these characters and moved me in a way few things in entertainment or real life rarely do. I am now lost without these characters, and though prospects if a second season are high (it is the most successful series Telltale has yet developed) there is still this overwhelming sense of defeat. Sure I accomplished the one goal I set for myself while playing the season but it wasn't easy, nor was I remotely happy once the credits rolled.

I have no doubt in my mind that Telltale has left an indelible mark on the video game industry with the conclusion of The Walking Dead, a mark that will be looked back on in the future as the turning point for when video games could start being taken seriously on a storytelling, world building and characterization level. Worse still is that I can't delve into the specifics, this is a game that needs to be experienced first hand, everyone should play The Walking Dead whether you like adventure games or not, if you care at all about video games and what they used to be and where they're headed you need to see the milestone that is The Walking Dead series from Telltale. This game will stick with me forever, as I sat there literally bawling as the credits rolled, I knew I had just experienced the most significant achievement in video games this entire generation. The Walking Dead is far more than the best game of the year, its probably the single greatest leap in storytelling quality in video games. 

(5 out of 5)

Quick & Dirty Reviews

The Watch (1 out of 5)

The Watch is single-handedly one of the worst comedies I have seen this year. An absolute abysmal excuse for entertainment and the last straw for Vince Vaughn with whom I now have a personal vendetta against. The Watch is a needlessly vulgar and immensely stupid film that offers nothing in the way of interesting ideas or even gags. Going for crude sex jokes and tangential rants in exchange for actually clever or witty humor. It's childish and clearly desperate and it makes for one of the most painful comedy movie watching experiences I have had since Adam Sandler's Grown Ups. Both Ben Stiller and Jonah Hill have done good work recently so its a wonder why they would stoop as low as this and even Richard Ayoade who has been carving out his own niche appeal is just slumming it here. The only justified person in the film is Vince Vaughn who has consistently starred in lackluster comedies. Stay far far away from The Watch a half "comedy" half sci-fi mash-up that fails in the key aspect of its existence, entertainment.

Brave (3 out of 5)

Brave is an unfortunately unimaginative effort from animated powerhouse Pixar, who usually delivers the best in class animated features. But Brave channels old school Disney princess movies too much, making it a gorgeous looking if predictable fairy tale adventure. The film follows Merida as she rebels against her mothers wishes of being betrothed and becoming a queen. Merida likes archery and adventuring and when a hasty wish granted by a suspicious witch goes awry she must grow up and take on her responsibility. If this sounds familiar it's because it is, recounting 50 years of Disney movie princess, Brave does little in the way of originality a rarity for Pixar. In the end Brave is still better than most animated films but it is an unfortunate low point in the Pixar pantheon which up until now has only included one failure, Cars which most people disregard as the lowly merchandising money maker.

Total Recall (2 out of 5)

Why?!? Remaking the original 1990 Total Recall was 100% unnecessary, the original is widely regarded as a classic and its cheesy ultra violent practical effects and overt satirical commentary typical of a Verrhoeven film were what made it so memorable. Now 22 years later Total Recall is a boring and hollow action movie from the directorial hack Len Wiseman. What was once an entertaining and smart action movie has now been diluted to its modern day equivalent and it's far worse for it. But decent action set pieces and great visual effects make the disappointment go down a little easier. Bryan Cranston in his recent quest to be in every movie ever (last seen in Argo), plays Cohaagen a far step down from the original films interpretation but at the very least Cranston delivers the best performance in the movie and is pretty bad-ass throughout. Everyone else however is sorely lacking in, well, talent. Colin Farrell who has done great work recently in smaller independent films appears to be sleep walking through this one, clearly in it for the paycheck. And while Kate Beckinsale and Jessica Biel throw themselves into everything they do, it's more because they're generally so terrible any job could be their last. Stay away from this disgrace of a remake and at best mediocre action movie and dig up a copy of the original it holds up and offers way more in the way of interesting ideas and pretty amazing practical effects.

V/H/S (4 out of 5)

Holy Crap was this movie scary, V/H/S is a horror movie anthology like Creepshow or Trick 'r' Treat. The conceit is that a group of guys break into a house to steal some VHS's and while there they watch a few of the movies, which contain morbid recordings of completely unrelated horrors. As with most anthologies V/H/S has a few duds in its over arching narrative but even-still I haven't been this thoroughly freaked out by a horror film since The Strangers. Each tape contains a different story some slow burns that feed on the tension and anxiety and other are more supernatural harping on the fear of something omnipresent and inhumanly powerful. The film feels like a love letter to the horror genre, not with references or gags but by taking tropes and expectations and twisting them enough so that even the most hardened horror lover will get a kick out of these fucked up stories. There are five separate stories and only one is a let down, while another I didn't find scary because it seemed too unreal. V/H/S comes highly recommended, but be forewarned this movie is not for the faint of heart, and even if you have become tired of the found footage direction of recent horror films I promise this movie offers some real scares and some inventive use of the concept that it's well worth checking out but only if you want to loose a few hours of sleep for the next few weeks.

Elementary (TV Show) (1 out of 5)

A rote and predictable crime drama that offers nothing in the way of new or even remotely interesting ideas. Forced pleas for differentiation are meaningless and end up coming off as desperate cries for attention rather than interesting creative directions. Elementary apes the formula of a mediocre police procedural and mixes in the now predictable portrayal of Holmes audiences have seen in just about every incarnation of the last 10 years. As with everything on CBS, Elementary finds its audience in stay at home moms and the elderly, it's not a bad audience on the contrary it's quite a loyal contingent if you can hook them, but for anyone with an eye for quality programming this particular show is sorely lacking. Do yourself a favor, hunt down the BBC series and watch that instead and see what a respectable and intelligent modern take on Sherlock Holes can be.

Dishonored Review

Dishonored takes ingredients from other games to create a fun formula that allows for true player freedom. A poorly presented story and dated graphics are the only things holding back this otherwise eminently playable game. Dishonored entrusts itself entirely on the player, however you choose to handle any given situation the game throws at you will determine how characters will react and eventually how the story will end. Dishonored takes place in the wonderfully designed city of Dunwall suffering from a plague being spread by rats. The world is incredibly well thought out and one of the great joys is taking your time with the game, reading journals and over hearing conversations which make this world come to life. But unfortunately the fiction of the world is the only thing that's narratively interesting, because the story itself is shallow and never quite captures the potential that the world itself seems to point towards.

Dishonored revels in player choice, there are hundreds (no exaggeration) of ways to tackle any given situation. The game even opens up all the available powers from the get go from teleporting to possessing animals and enemies to do your bidding, allowing you to specialize based on your preferred play style. While I primarily played the game as a stealth experience one of the great joys of playing this game is that any option is viable. Unlike most stealth games Dishonored's combat is pretty damn fun, so if you get caught and have to fight your way out, its actually an enjoyable experience and it's that flexibility that makes Dishonored truly shine. The missions in the game are broken up into large fully traversable areas where you can take on side missions, explore an abandoned home, or book it straight to your assassination target. These large levels provide much of the freedom allowing you to access buildings from any available doors and windows or sneak in through the rooftops or sewers. Once inside, avoid being spotted or go in guns blazing and see how far you can make it (not very). There is even an adventure-esque mission that takes place at a masquerade ball where you have to piece together clues to discover which mask your target is hiding behind.

Dishonored takes inspiration from games like Bioshock and Deus Ex and creates a unique world of its own with tons of options for how any given player wants to play it. Stealth is the ideal, but I fought my out of a bind on a few occasions and the game maintained the same level of enjoyment. I only wish they had come up with a better story to wrap around the great gameplay. The graphics are also a bit of a letdown, with character faces in particular looking especially horrendous. But don't let those two gripes stop you from playing Dishonored which is undoubtedly one of the most gratifying games to play with cool powers, fun combat, tons of options and stealth mechanics that aren't frustrating but in fact incredibly fun.

(4 out of 5)