Insidious Review

Insidious gives a good strong effort, but buckles in the last act with an ill attempt at explaining the supernatural goings-on. Directed by James Wan of Saw and Paranormal Activity fame, Insidious attempts to break the mold so many horror movies find themselves falling into, but instead trips up and merely delivers a few fantastic jump scares and a eerie atmosphere that never really settles on either side of the fence of truly horrifying or campy fun.

As previously noted, Insidious tries to mix up familiar horror tropes by giving us a haunting situation that isn't limited to any house, so when the increasingly terrorized family ups and moves, the evil just follows them. Its a great and dubiously simple twist, but the inescapable nature of the threat really adds to the tension. The scares come fairly obviously with long single takes that can only end in a loud piano strike, or a simple mundane activity that urges you to clench your fist awaiting the inevitable creepy music or maniacal whispering. Its all a bit rote but nevertheless when it goes for a scare it succeeds.

The last 45 minutes or so are what bring this movie to a screeching halt. Someone during the production of this film thought it was a good idea that they explain why our heroes are experiencing hallucinations and why their oldest son has fallen into an endless sleep. The family hires a team of what amount to ghost hunters, and after a quick inspection find that their son has been lost to the "Further" a dimension where tortured souls lay in wait; to get their son back the father-played by Patrick Wilson-needs to traverse into this dimension and fight off the demons and ghosts to save his son. The last act seems like it must have been written by somebody else since it doesn't meld with the tone and suspense of the rest of the movie. It doesn't help that the films measly million dollar budget doesn't allow for better effects, and so our journey through the "Further" is nothing more than the same locations you have seen up to that point in the film spruced up with the help of a fog machine.

Insidious could have been a film that buried under your skin and swam around in the back of your head, subconsciously eating at your dreams for weeks to come, but the disjointed final act and an ill conceived notion to explain away the mysteries softens its impact. Insidious does provide some great scares and a chillingly tone, but it unfortunately only serves as a hard reminder that Hollywood even when approaching something with the best intentions, always seems to trip up in the delivery.

(3 out of 5)

Chuck (S5 E1) Versus the Zoom Review

Chuck is back for its 5th and final season, and unlike most shows this far into their lifespan, Chuck has reinvigorated itself and hopes to go out on a high note. A feat which seemed increasingly impossible every year that went by.Chuck infamous for being perpetually "On the Bubble" was miraculously renewed by the skin of its teeth last year. As an immense fan of this show, I am extremely excited to have Chuck back for one last round. This is a show unlike anything on TV a show that progresses its characters and plots forward in believable and engaging ways, its a show that unfortunately gets short changed year after year, but Chuck is getting one last Hurrah and I couldn't be happier.

Season 5 begins a few months after recovering from the myriad of cliffhangers the show ended on last year. With the Intersect out of Chucks head and inside Morgans'. Team Bartowski has separated themselves from the CIA and started up their own freelance spy business, and with the final realization that everything in Chuck's life has been seemingly orchestrated by some of the most powerful people in the world, Chuck Season 5 has a lot to cover in its 13 episode final season. The Zoom starts with a cold open, Chuck and Sarah have been captured by a slimy euro-trash aristocrat played gleefully by Mark Hamill (Luke Skywalker) and Morgan is their last resort to get out of this alive. Which brings me to my first worry, Morgan is a character who even in small doses can be very overwhelming, his attitude is a fun foil to Chuck but a Morgan who thinks he is bad-ass risks becoming obnoxious very quickly. Thankfully Morgan is toned down, even if our favorite spy team is relying on him to complete missions, he is still incompetently endearing.

While this episode was a great season opener including all the thing that continue to make this show great, witty comedy, insanely hot outfits for Yvonne Strahovski (Sarah) to wear and a sincerity often lost in most modern television shows. The episode lacks any real forward progress, understandable since they have to introduce a whole new dynamic for the show but the only hint to the future was an ominous speech at the end of the episode from Clyde Decker a CIA agent out for revenge. The spy mission in this episode quickly becomes generic and an accuse to do some light spying while we see Chuck dealing with not having the Intersect and feeling more and more like the third wheel. As well as Morgan and his shenanigans having the time of his life as the Intersect. And how can we forget the furthering adventures of Chuck and Sarah's relationship. Sarah and Chuck married is a lot like Sarah and Chuck engaged which was a lot like Chuck and Sarah dating, its all a series of adorable and sweet romantic scenes spruced up with sex and laughs, its all a bit familiar,but damn me if it isn't satisfying to see a couple with such great chemistry on TV actually getting and staying together.

Chuck Versus the Zoom was a welcome return from a fantastic show if a bit unnecessary and redundant, its the groundwork for whats to come, and so gave us just a taste of the new and invaluable Morgan; a Chuck who needs to balance a profiting business, keeping his smoking hot wife happy, and coping with the fact that he no longer has the Intersect. Chuck is a show that for reasons that I cannot fathom speaks to me, a show that makes me smile from beginning to end, and a show I have become so invested in I am sad to see it go. I will save my tears for when the show is officially over, but till then I intend to enjoy every last second.

(3 out of 5)

Duke Nukem Forever Review

I don't know what I was expecting after 15 years, one of the, if not the longest development cycle for a game in all of videogame history. Having been developed on every conceivable console since its announcement in 1996, there was no way the story of Duke Nukem was going to end well. Here we are almost 2 decades and 3 active developers later and Duke Nukem Forever has finally been released, and frankly they should have left it dead and buried. Unfortunately Gearbox felt the need to save Duke from his endless development hell after the closure of  Duke Nukem creators 3D Realms. And thus we are given a game that would have more appropriately been released around 1996, which makes sense, given that was when the games bullshit macho posturing was relevant.

Duke Nukem is a one of the worst games ever released and its only accomplishment, though in retrospect is kind of a big one, is its release. What we are given after 15 years of waiting is a half-assed first person shooter with all the markings of what qualified as a terrible game back when it was announced. Duke's shooting mechanics are shoddy at best, and are almost never accurate, the game tries to vary up its mechanics by introducing driving levels, underwater levels, and areas where you find yourself shrunken down and trying to traverse the environment. Its a good idea, but poorly implemented, each of these divergences go on to long, and having to stop the driving mission, to fill the car with gas is excruciatingly dull. Graphically the game fails utterly, with low texture quality and low polygon counts serving as constant reminders as to this games original intended release date.

The Duke is back, is a factual statement, but he is bringing his perverse and outdated one-liner with him. While Duke was funny, in his most memorable appearance back on Duke Nukem 3D, his movie quotes are 10 years too late. Its sort of funny to think of the character as a sort of relic of an era long since forgotten, but the game doesn't position him like that, instead portraying him as the same "badass" and ladies man he was back when he was relevant. Instead he and the onslaught of crude jokes come across as immensely unfunny and then mildly offensive.

Duke Nukem isn't without merit, well in actuality the game in fact is, but as a history lesson into one of the most delayed and resurrected videogames in history its quite fascinating. You can often see elements that, had this game been released in a timely faction would have blown peoples minds. When compared to today's current crop of games it is a testament for how far the industry as come. For that sole reason this game deserves a look, to see what games used to be, what they are now, and for the now legendary story of this games development. As a history lesson its fascinating as a modern videogame its laughably outdated.

(1 out of 5)

Dexter S6 E1 "Those Kinds of Things" Review

I have become so conflicted with Dexter since around Season 4. Dexter has so much potential to dig deep and show a deeply tormented man, trying to keep his unquenchable thirst to kill at bay, while raising a family and working as a blood splatter analyst for Miami Metro Police Department. Instead Dexter never carries through its developments, opting to always reset every season. Every year we are given a new villain that Dexter will need to track down and stop before he/she/or they do anymore harm. In Season 4 Dexter had to fend of The Trinity killers advances while protecting his wife Rita and kids, but by season end Rita was dead and the kids moved in with their grandparents. Last Season Dexter meet Lumen a young women who he connected to, and as a women seeking vengeance against the people who assaulted and tortured her she saw Dexter for who he really was and loved him for it, but once again by season end Lumen had been "cured" of her dark passenger and she moved on.

And so here we are in Season 6 with a fresh slate, its unfortunate Dexter (the show) has no greater ambitions, instead Season 6 feels (for better or worse) like taking Dexter back to his roots, more forensic cop by day killer by night. Dexter just happens to be looking out for the future of his son, by finding a pre-school he feels comfortable inducting his son into. Debra is cursing up a storm like usual and still dating Quinn, but apparently the investigation that had Quinn pinned as the man who killed Liddy last year, has been neatly and conveniently wrapped up off-screen. Batista has thankfully divorced LaGuerta (also off-screen) since they were the most annoying couple last year. This whole episode just feels to convenient, everything is as normal and simple as it use to be, where is the drama, why isn't Quinn under investigation or more importantly, still suspicious of Dexter.

Having said all that this was still a pretty damn great first episode, with Dexter tracking his latest prey at his high school reunion and being forced to be more social, something Dexter is not very good at, which leads to hilarious scenes of him trying to comprehend the phrase "Hammer Time" and more specifically how it relates to normal time. Watching Dex return fully expecting to be ignored as he was in high school, only to be the center of attention was the highlight of the episode, dancing terribly, getting a BJ from the prom queen, playing tag football, and learning that his date to the spring formal found out she was a lesbian after him. Its all played for laughs and is a great counterpart to him trying to get proof that the star of the football team killed his own wife, so he can kill him.


Back in Homicide a duo of religious killers, take their first step into whatever apocalyptic vision they have. Killing a fruit vendor by disemboweling him, replacing his intestine with snakes, and finally sewing the Alpha and Omega sign into his chest, all while quoting from the Bible (specifically Revelations). Colin Hanks seemingly plays the student role of this psychotic duo trying his best to seem like a killer but, so far I'm not convinced. He looks like a little boy wearing his daddy's jacket, and it honestly looks quite silly.


Either way Dexter is back, with an interesting set of villains, and a back to basics feel. Even if everything feels artificial and conveniently reset for the new season, its still fun to watch Dexter stalk his prey, and his new interest in religion could only lead to some great moments throughout the rest of this season. I just fear this show will lose its appeal the more it continues the same formula.

(4 out of 5)