Alan Wake: American Nightmare Review

Alan Wake was unsurprisingly polarizing when it was released in 2010 alongside Red Dead Redemption; the "Psychological Action Thriller" was a hard sell and after 7 years of development is was also facing astronomical expectations. I personally loved the game, as it stands as my third favorite game of that entire year and I lamented its inability to capture the attention of most videogame players. But thankfully developer Remedy has decided to continue the franchise through a slightly different approach via Xbox Live Arcade as a more bite sized experience that leans more heavily on the incorporated "hoard" equivalent mode.

American Nightmare improves in every facet from its predecessor. The combat is more varied with a wider variety of weapons, better enemy distribution so you never feel overwhelmed but neither is it a cakewalk. The game looks significantly better as well, with sharper visuals and a better mix of art design instead of the same basic dark forest of the first. The game is also the first I've played that makes back tracking inventive, by having the story and its characters aware of the repeating scenarios, as it plays into the over arching story. Never have a played through the same 3 segments in a game and relished it each and every time, the game also smartly streamlines the process each time you restart the journey; with items being retrieved for you and entering levels closer to your objective.

American Nightmare is unfortunately too much of a side note for its story to be of any significance but Alan Wake's signature atmosphere and style is ever-present. Mixed in this time around is a wonderful Twilight Zone theme, that has a suitably cheesy yet spectacular voice over narrator that channels the great Rod Serling. American Nightmare for me is a story only affair but there is the increasingly prominent wave based survival mode thrown in for lasting appeal, as the story is relatively short. It holds no interest to me but its there if you want it.

This game has lots of FMV and it's AMAZING

American Nightmare does an incredible job at making appreciable improvements to the Alan Wake formula, the obscene amount of collectibles are still here but their more compelling. The combat is still not the strongest aspect, but its been tweaked enough that its bearable and never frustrating (a huge problem in the original game).  I adore the Alan Wake games they are immensely atmospheric and engaging. The games combat leaves a lot to be desired, but if having to put up with some slightly mediocre gameplay to get a unsettling, inventive, highly stylized and immensely original experience, the likes of which are extremely rare, I'll happily take it.

(4 out of 5)

Animated Quick & Dirty Reviews

The Adventures of Tintin (4 out of 5)

Spielberg crafts a thrilling adventures the likes of which hasn't been seen since Raiders of the Lost Ark. Tintin is a whimsical adventure film with some of the best animation to date, incredible motion capture performances seeps out through the digital characters embodying them with life like no other animated film has done. It's a weird juxtaposition against the almost too violent looking action and goofy physical comedy, its the most jarring part of the entire film. Characters survive violent plane crashes, and general get beaten down like Wile E. Coyote, appropriate for an animated film but not when at times the film is so eerily realistic. Tintin also allows Spielberg to be more creative, being freed from a physical camera allows him to whip, pan, stitch, and otherwise craft an experience you just wouldn't be able to produce under real-world circumstances, and the film benefits from this greatly. Inventive action set-pieces, seamless transitions, vast and detailed environments; visually it really is like nothing else out there. Tintin provides a fun and visually striking adventure the likes of which is unfortunately not seen often enough in Hollywood.

Puss in Boots (2 out of 5)

The only prerequisite for enjoying Puss in Boots is to think cats are adorable, if cats chasing lights, drinking milk, and wearing boots doesn't immediately sound appealing then you probably wont find much to enjoy here. Puss in Boots is in essence a heist film, where two count them two cats wearing boots and Humpty Dumpty attempt to steal magic beans from Jack and Jill to break into the giant fortress in the clouds to steal a golden goose egg. Yep those were about four different fairy tales mixed together, and its something Dreamworks has always done well, blending all the famous children stories into a bizarre highly referential world. For a movie called Puss in Boots, Puss is really second banana to the real star, Humpty "Alexander" Dumpty. Humpty wonderfully voiced by Zach Galifianakis steals every scene he is in, and is generally a more sympathetic character than Puss too. The movie relies too heavily on predictable and shallow jokes which only raised a single smile from me the entire length of the film. Maybe I'm just a cold-hearted cynic but Puss in Boots did absolutely nothing for me, and only goes to prove my theory that 90% of movies aimed at children are trash and its a sad fact, go see The Muppets or a Pixar film, cause there is nothing of value in this cheap Shrek spin-off cash-in.

Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance Review

Ghost Rider was a mild success back in 2007 but overwhelming critic hatred and outcry from comic book fans cemented the death of the bad CGI flaming skull and Nicholas Cages wooden performance. But someone somewhere made a deal with the devil or some fat cat executive, thus bringing the charred carcass back from the depths of hell and here we are with Spirit of Vengeance a sort-of, not-really sequel to the first flaming turd of a movie. Nicholas Cage is back as Johnny Blaze the stunt motorcyclist who sold his soul to the devil and was cursed as a "rider" a kind of bounty hunter for the devil. Thankfully Cage is in full-on "AAACCTTIIIIIIIIIIIINNNGGGGG" mode here, chewing scenery like no one else can and he really is the one saving grace of this film.

Spirit of Vengeance is surprisingly boring for as ludicrous as the premise and the films kinetic style may be. All of the performances are incredibly flat as the actors seem to be half asleep as they read out their lines, none more apparent than the mother and son duo that Blaze is tasked with protecting. Which brings me to the plot, the entire plot is dropped on Blazes lap by a wine-obsessed French monk played unfortunately restrained by Idris Elba, and it goes a little something like this "you must protect this boy *shows picture*, in return I shall lift your curse" ... "ok". Then off we go, it just goes to show the filmmakers have no interest in the story and are more interested in showing off how badass Ghost Rider looks.

Mark Neveldine and Brain Taylor are the directing duo, and if you've seen their previous efforts (Crank 1 & 2) you pretty much know what you're getting into. The directing style is frantic and maddeningly confusing, handheld shots are their preferred but it means the majority of the film is always shaky and unstable. Mix that with whipcams and A.D.D. afflicted editing and you have a possibly migraine inducing 90 minutes. Where the film really shines however is when Ghost Rider or his wild-eyed coke fueled alter-ego Nicholas Cage are onscreen. Ghost Rider himself looks incredible, the flames look real and react to the action believable as it extinguishes and sways accordingly. Nicholas Cage however never reacts or behaves appropriately and the movie is all the better for it as he screams and winces his way through his scenes. His balls out crazy interrogation of some club owner is especially frightening/ hilarious and had me wishing he was more whacked out than he already was, which would have made for at least a more interesting movie as opposed to a boring one.

Which is where I end this review, this movies biggest sin is that its boring. The action is too muddied and messy to have any impact though it does always look impressive, and the frantic nature of the film is completely neutered by a dumb plot, hokey dialogue and stiff performances. Nicholas Cage's "fantastic" performance and a few crazy action scenes, particularly a car chase which has Ghost Rider jumping from his motorcycle onto trucks and burning everything in his path are the few saving graces of this movie. Unfortunately Spirit of Vengeance is a lackluster "sequel?" to its generic predecessor. Go for the crazy but set expectations accordingly.

(2 out of 5)

Resident Evil: Revelations Review

Resident Evil has been on handhelds before but Revelations is the first time the experience has been so successfully ported over, but to my dismay its just not an experience I want to have on a 3 inch screen. Revelations takes place between RE 4 and RE 5, but despite a story that involves a massive ocean-floating utopia and a satellite that shoots solar rays eviscerating anything in its path, the story is completely inconsequential.

Revelations resembles RE5 the most, in terms of controls and tone. You can't move while aiming and a lot of the button configurations are the lifted straight from RE5. Tonally the game is more action focused scaling down some of the bigger set-pieces from 4 and 5 to accommodate the handheld format. The action feels great, my only advice is to immediately switch to third-person view in the options simply because first-person feels janky and more cumbersome.  The game follows an episodic nature wherein you switch perspective of several duos of BSAA agents in different locations all the while unraveling the mysteries of the Queen Zenobia a luxury cruise liner that has become the homebase of a radical terrorist group known as Veltro as they threaten to expose the conspiracy surrounding Terragrigia the aforementioned floating paradise and its untimely destruction. The story jumps between Jill and her new vaguely European partner, Chris and his hyper-sexualized female partner, and a duo of bad SNL castoffs, one of which is named "Jackass" (I wish I was joking) who has the most grating voice I have ever heard.

If you couldn't tell by the description the plot is a mess and worse still is that its uninteresting and irrelevant as it is over and dealt with by the end of the roughly 8 hour campaign. The most impressive aspect of this game are the graphics, which are the best of any handheld to date (the PlayStation Vita is still not officially out at the time of this writing). The environments and character models are incredibly detailed, looking as good as their console brethren. You spend the vast majority of your time on the massive ship, thankfully its interiors are varied and detailed enough that it doesn't become monotonous or even confusing when you begin to backtrack. Yep there is a lot of backtracking in this game, going through the same areas again and again as you find ways to access doors you couldn't before, this time with twice as many enemies around, its a chore but at least the combat is fun.

Revelations is anything but, its a side-story that doesn't even warrant the convoluted plot it's given. The campaign is lengthy and filled with fun combat and cool puzzles. The backtracking gets tedious as does an overabundance of underwater traversing segments, which veteran videogame players know is always poorly executed. So while the story is boring the gameplay itself is fun and beautiful to behold, and a "Raid" mode akin to hoard or firefight modes in other games extends the lasting appeal with combat focused co-op (online or local) missions. But when it comes down to it, as great as this game can sometimes be I just don't want this type of experience on a handheld.

(3 out of 5)

Torchwood: Miracle Day Review

Torchwood is a television programs which like its lead character has found ways to escape death/cancellation time and time again, effectively being killed off but always miraculously coming back to life. Miracle Day is a ten part mini-series that explores an event that instantaneously causes the entire human race to become immortal. What would the world become if people couldn't die, religion is rebuked, science becomes irrelevant, and the world plunges into chaos. In comes Torchwood Institute a highly secretive group who investigate the unusual, the unexplained, and the extraterrestrial. Torchwood is lead by Jack Harkness as the man who cant die, but on the day the world becomes immortal he becomes mortal.

Torchwood has always been a daring program that brings up interesting questions and sparks debate. If people can't die is there such thing as murder, how long would the earth be able to provide its resources to a population that is increasing in massive amounts by the second, or what is stopping people from upholding their moral standards if they cant be punished for their actions. Unfortunately questions is all Miracle Day really excels at, that and great performances, noteworthy among them John Barrowman who plays the until recently undying man with over 1000 years of regret and loss. Barrowman is his usual charming rouge self who will just as soon shoot you as bed you. Barrowman embodies a man who has lived and loved and is not better for it. There is an episode in the second half of the season that consists entirely of him being taken to his death all the while remembering a past love of his life, a man he meet on Ellis Island in 1892 its wonderfully portrayed love story, while once again bringing up questions this time of homosexuality and religion.

Bill Pullman who hasn't been seen much lately gives an often unsettling but always fascinating performance of a convicted pedophile rapist and murderer, Oswald Danes, who "miraculously" survives his execution the day people stop dying. His pleas of forgiveness win him attention which he quickly takes advantage of to turn the nation into his faithful devotees. His philosophizing makes him a beacon in the media and the unseen hands of those who orchestrated Miracle Day shape him to ease the public into some of the more extreme actions that take place in a world coping with no death.

My biggest problem with Miracle Day is that it takes to long for anything of note to happen, the story is always moving forward there isn't any filler episodes per se but every episode does feel artificially lengthened whether that's with clumsy expository dialogue or inappropriate comedy. Once the story reaches its climax its disappointing as well, the big reveal as to how the world stopped dying, who did it and why, its all underwhelming. Maybe I was just expecting too much but it felt flat. The investigation, the missions and the journey to the end are the best parts and yet its still oftentimes stretched too far.

Miracle Day brings up fascinating ideas but never capitalizes on them. The characters are compelling and are the most fun to watch when they're working as a team and pulling off some elaborate plan, you care about each of them equally and hope they survive this ordeal. All in all Miracle Day is a great piece of science fiction television it just stumbles in its way to the conclusion and then gives out when it comes time to put an end to the story. Thought-provoking, compelling characters, daring television, all the pieces are there its just doesn't come together as well as I had hoped.

(3 out of 5)

Awake Pilot Review

Awake is a new show from NBC that chronicles the ever more delusional detective Michael Britten as he alternates between two alternate-realities both resulting from a late night car accident. In one reality his wife died in the other his son, and in both he must see a different psychiatrist and solve different crimes, though as the pilot unfolds the two realities appear to be linked as clues from one crimes reality lead to resolutions in the other. The performance from Jason Isaacs is what grounds the seemingly convoluted plot, there is a deep sadness in some scenes and a particularly chilling unraveling when Britten forgets which reality he is in that shows Isaacs is at the top of his game here.

Awake has the potential to be one of the very few good police procedurals out there, but it'll have to strike a better balance between the two realities. The pilot is jarring as the reality perspectives shifts often and even as the viewer you're left wondering which alternate universe you are in, maybe that is an intended effect but it was too much for me. There is a color-shift in the two realities too accentuate which world you are witnessing which is helpful but it could just take the show a while to master that transition. While I have no interest in a police procedural since there are hundreds to choose from and they are all identical. Awake peaks my interest purely on a conceptual level, and if they have bigger picture plans in store this could be a show to look out for.

For now I'm cautiously optimistic, like most pilots its an average episode of television but the concept of a man drifting between two planes of existence slowly losing gripes on which is real, if any, is incredibly compelling. I'll defiantly be tuning in when the shows airs March 1st, 2012.  My biggest hope is that they capitalize on the amazing concept and go even further, maybe introducing more cerebral concepts, cause if it boils down into another police procedural with a twist, even if it happens to be an interesting twist, I'm out.

(4 out of 5)

My Grammys Rant - Cause Why the Fuck Not

Reasons to Hate the Grammys 

# 1) Realizing everyone has completely gotten over the Chris "The Tenderizer" Brown woman beating fiasco. But even more disgustingly young women the world over are now "like totally into being beaten if it means being "beaten" by Chris Brown". A quick message to the millions of fathers: "you have failed and you have failed horribly".

Uz Crazy

The Fuck !?!

# 2) Realizing this up-and-coming generation is completely doomed. Now this is pretty vague and I could use this entry to point out the monotonous trash kids call music these days or just point to the above entry to reiterate. Instead I'll just let these series of tweets speak for me. It's not like I'm hoping for these people to know who Jules Verne is, it's Paul McCartney for crying out loud. But probably more importantly if you don't know the person take the 10 seconds to Google it instead of complaining, educate yourselves for f**k's sake.

The Reason (1) Why the Grammys aren't an Abomination

# 1) Amazing artists getting recognition. Last year Arcade Fire made the rounds as they took home Album of the Year, and everyone except those with good tastes asked, "Who the hell is Arcade Fire". I can only hope a handful of people took it upon themselves to find out and wound up discovering some great music and  promptly abandoned The Black Eyed Peas and Justin Bieber altogether. This year something very similar happened when Bon Iver won for Best New Artist and Best Alternative Music Album. If you have never heard of Bon Iver you are missing out on some of the greatest music on the planet. Please do yourself a favor have a listen and maybe just maybe I'll convert just one person to good music, that will be enough. 

#1 Extended) Skrillex gets his; winning Best Dance Recording, Best Electronic/ Dance Album and Best Remixed Recording. Now this particular artist is an acquired tastes I'll give you that. But what has become known as Dub-step has had a surprising surge of popularity. One of its identifying markers is its inclusion of what have become lovingly known as heavy drops; in where the music cuts out for a second and is followed by what some may call abrasive or even outright abusive beats. Give it a listen, because really why not, but be forewarned lower your volume and brace yourself.

Quick & Dirty Reviews

The Descendants (3 out of 5)

With his wife Elizabeth on life support after a boating accident, Hawaiian land owner Matt King (George Clooney) takes his daughters on a trip from Oahu to Kauai to confront the young real estate broker, who was having an affair with his wife before her accident. The Descendants is an odd film, it doesn't dwell on the sadness of the situation so much as the journey of acceptance the family must go through. But while characters reminisce and cry there is a surprisingly funny aspect of the film that follows King and his oldest daughter as they piece together the hidden life of the wife/mother they didn't quite know. The best part of the film is without a doubt the performances which are all layered in such a way that makes you think these characters may be disturbed on some level but instead are just some of the realest depiction of human emotion in a film. They all deal with their tragedy in ways that oftentimes leads to hilariously embarrassing but surreal situations. There is nothing new about the story itself, people coming to terms with the death of a loved one has been done before, but there is something really special about Clooney's performance in this film that feels tangible and realistic; as he is sometimes furious with his late wife's actions but also saddened at her current state. It's a restrained performance that nonetheless feels more authentic to the situation than typical movie melodrama. 


The Artist (4 out of 5)

The Artist aspires to both enlighten as well as praise the silent movie era. Director Michel Hazanavicius has an impeccable talent for loving recreation with such attention to detail as how the lighting is implemented and what film stock is used. Silent films are notoriously hard to get through, at least nowadays anyways, but the infectiously charming performs of Jean Dujardin as the once great star who has lost his way during the renaissance of the "talkies" is captivating. Dujardin has an expressiveness to his face that lends itself well to this type of film, his eyebrow raising alone brings along with it tons of laughs. But there is a dramatic and surprisingly dark story-arch- maybe to dark even- that shows off Dujardin's incredible dramatic range as well. But the real star of the show is not the charming lead, the perky and adorable young starlet, or even the films loving homage to the era, nope it's the highly talented puppy. This little energetic pup brings all the laughs and is even a pivotal friend to Dujardins character when he is ready to quite literal pull the trigger. Overall The Artist does an incredible job at recreating and even outdoing the great silent films of that era, it's a film any movie lover would greatly appreciate and it does it all while being charming, funny, and surprisingly touching.