Prometheus Review

There was a time when you could walk into a theatre and be genuinely thrilled, movies could transport you to any point in history or take you on a intergalactic crusade to rid the universe of the dark side. But there was a turning point when movies started to iterate, sequels were being fast tracked as movies made millions within days. Grand scale ambition was replaced with safe recycled tropes. There were detractors of course, people who refused to fall into the mold and those movies were greatly revered and beloved by those who had had enough of the same tripe shit year after year. Now here we are in 2012 with most movies following the same predictable audience pleasing pattern, but a savior has come, or so people have positioned him as; Ridley Scott was finally returning to the science fiction genre he helped define with entries such as Alien and Blade Runner. But can Prometheus capture the same magic and ignite the same sense of wonder and subsequent dread. Short answers yes and no, Prometheus is full of grand ideas and thought provoking questions, it has a sort of magic that coupled with is masterful direction make for an immersive and unique film. But its also hindered by a sub-par script and falls back on genre tropes a few too many times.

Prometheus is a film that should be if at all possible seen without any prior knowledge, trailers show too much and set expectations for an entirely different movie. Prometheus has a lot to say and its best to hear it straight from the mouth of the prophet and not his underlings. The movie begins with the biggest question of all, where did we come from? As an intro sequence quickly explains, aliens of course and from here on out the questions without answers begin to flow freely. Cut to the year 2093 and two archaeologist make a discovery which leads them on a trek to a distant planet where they believe contains the origin of human kind. A ship full of wild caricature introductions later and we are plopped down on LV-223 the aforementioned planet. The ship is filled with characters most not getting screen time and others not even attempted to be develop. Charlize Theron and Idris Elba have interesting characters and give decent performances but aren't given the time to develop. There are two characters amid the 15 plus crew and they are the most thought out and well written. Elizabeth Shaw the archaeologist with aspirations to meet her makers played by Noomi Rapace and David the android with boundless curiosity played by Michael Fassbender. The performances by both of these actors is astounding its just a shame they are the only characters in the movie that are even remotely fleshed out.

The film begins to fall apart just as it gets going, characters make irreverently stupid decisions the script introduces and teases more things than it has any intention of paying off and the movie also falls back on familiar genre tropes when the monsters start to come out. Having said all that, I was floored by this movie, I haven't been whisked off my feet and immersed so deeply in a movie in such a long time. The film is masterfully shot the special effects are beautiful in both design and detail as are the strange alien vistas and ship interiors. The epic scope matches the overarching existential questions perfectly and the constant battle of attrition between faith and skepticism is but one of the themes in the film, along with what it means to be human and the value we place on having the answer to humanity's greatest questions. The film crumbles under the weight of several things not least of which is a simply poor script, its lofty ambitions and serving to many masters. The film is described as a non-linear prequel to the Alien franchise, which if you have to come up with a term to describe your film you clearly aren't confident. The film sets about exploring something entirely new but then remembers it belongs within another franchises history and begins planting seeds and teasing the audience with references to the revered Alien franchise.

This film will undoubtedly and has already been greatly analyzed and debated, the implications of the discoveries made in this film are massive in terms of the Alien franchise as well as simply being fascinating talking points. While I adore this film more than any film since possibly the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, which if you knew me you would understand how monumental that statement is, I can still understand people having mixed feelings or feeling outright baffled at an admittedly convoluted and bloated script. A script that is also filled with underdeveloped characters and questionable motives. And while I freely admit the film is riddled with plot holes and unanswered questions, what caused frustration and eventual disappointment for some movie-goers, instead filled me with such excitement and wonder at the prospects of exploring this universe further and possibly getting the answers I so desperately want. It's no surprise then that this film was written by Damon Lindelof one of the minds behind Lost, and the similarities are abundant, tantalizing secrets and red herrings a plenty. This movie is more interested in asking questions then answering and audiences will either love it or hate it.

On to the nitty gritty, quite literally, this film is not for the squeamish as body horror is the focus of its scares and tension. Its unfortunate that once the movie chooses to go down the horror route it make all the rookie mistakes, stupid character decision and predictable outcomes. You'll role your eyes when the biologist meets the first living organism on the planet and proceeds to hold out his hand and edge it on "hey little buddy". The revelations in the film are nill, mostly interested in keeping audiences guessing and introducing new threatening situations. While some people may become frustrated I genuinely think we are not supposed to know what is going on, because in reality it's inconsequential its purposely vague so you have something to discuss and debate, there is no clear cut answer.

Prometheus is a heavily flawed film, that still manages to shine with some fascinating implications on the origin of human life. There was never a chance in hell Prometheus was going to live up to the monumental expectations people have heap upon Ridley Scotts return to science fiction. But even with a less then stellar script, filled with underdeveloped characters terribly predictable horror movie cliches and boundless questions without answers I still loved this movie. Characters while underdeveloped are memorable, performances are strong, visuals are breathtakingly striking, the violence is fist clenchingly intense and the suspense made a grown man behind me squeal. Movies just aren't made like this anymore, with a real sense of wonder and excitement, the question are there to be debated, the movie doesn't suffer from those unanswered questions it simply weeds out those with little patience or simple mindedness. I am hoping with all my heart the movie is a success and they quickly get to work on the sequels that are so clearly set up because I want need to return to this gorgeously haunting world.

(4 out of 5)

Snow White and the Huntsman Review

Snow White and the Huntsman is one of the first in the new Hollywood trend of dark and edgy fairy tale reimaginings. What started with Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland making a $1 billion quickly had studios checking their filing cabinets for any fairy tale related scripts. Producers stormed into meetings waving a used bar napkin with the next big money maker scribbled on it. Now fairy tales are all the rage with Once Upon a Time and Grimm on TV, and no less than 20 fairy tale related films in various stages of production with different takes on classic stories; Jack the Giant Killer (Jack and the Beanstalk), Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters, Maleficent (villainous side of Sleeping Beauty) and many many more. There was even a Snow White adaptation just two months previous to this films opening called Mirror, Mirror which bombed horribly. So it begs the question, does the fairy tale genre deserve this new found fervor or is it a fad that will pass just as quickly as it sprang up.

Snow White and the Huntsman has a lot stacked against it, a script which had been sitting stagnant for 10 years, the questionable casting of vacuum of emotion Kristen Stewart as Snow White, and its the directorial debut for Rupert Sanders whose only previous work was a live action Halo ODST short film. Given all that, it's amazing Snow White turned out even remotely as good as it did, unfortunately it falls short in a few to many categories for it to be the runaway success Universal so desperately wanted it to be. Snow White is neither the fantastical heroic epic it strives to be nor is it the eye opening villainous perspective the trailers have led people to believe. Instead it falls somewhat in the middle with Snow White herself the central focus along with a drunkard Huntsman who is along for the ride while he comes to term with his wife's death. The movie is very uneven, there are erratic prolonged moments of characters meandering with no real direction making the film bog down randomly throughout its run-time, performances are likewise erratic with no one giving a consistent effort.

The films aesthetic is easily the best thing about it, the dark fantasy lends itself well to this story as Snow White is forced to traverse through a dark forest that is littered with hallucinogenic plants that make the forest seem even more terrifying than it already is. There is even an idyllic forest with all manner of wildlife and even faeries that flock to Snow White as she is destined to bring life back through the darkness. The dwarves are very unlike their traditional interpretations as well, they are not named after emotions instead these are pilfering and vile small warriors that only after meeting Snow White do they begin to see a brighter future. The special effects used to make non-little people actors into these pint sized scoundrels is spectacular, which allows some great character actors to shine through the unfortunately minimal screen time the dwarves get; the likes of Ian McShane, Nick Frost, Bob Hoskins and Ray Winstone make a huge impression with their dirty jokes and great costumes and hairstyles.

The performances in this movie are all over the place, and while Kristen Stewart is light-years better in this film than in the Twilight series showing more confidence and generally having a more compelling nature, there are still moments where her constant mouth breathing becomes distracting. She does give a rousing speech towards the films climax that is probably the best performance she has ever given. Chris Hemsworth is also uneven as he doesn't seem to have his heart in this as much as he appears to have when he is playing Thor. Finally Charlize Theron has gotten a lot of praise for her role here but I have to say it seems undeserved as her character is very underdeveloped and bordering on obnoxious as she scream through more than half of her scenes. Though all of this may be the fault of the script which seems to be missing large chunks of detail as it sets up certain plot points only to never return or delve any deeper into them. This is also a film that is exposition heavy and it's all in the first half of the film, making it feel like a tedious power point presentation as we watch a fast moving story unfold just to set all the pieces on the board all within the first 15-20 minutes.

Snow White and the Huntsman is a decent effort in the dark-n-edgy-ification of classic fairy tales. There is even an interesting twist on the poison apple and awakening kiss that I found incredibly ingenious. The world the filmmakers craft for this movie is immensely impressive with gorgeous vistas, creatures and set design, with the dwarf special effects being the real standout. Unfortunately the movie is incredibly uneven in its performances, pacing and script. But when Snow White donned battle armor and rode fiercely towards the evil queens castle I was enthralled, and that has to count for something especially with Kristen Stewart being the one to lead this army into battle.

(3 out of 5)

Batman Arkham City: Harley's Revenge DLC Review

Arkham City was one of the very best games of 2011 and it's taken almost a year for Rocksteady to put out the first bit of single-player dlc. Sure there have been challenge arenas and costume packs, but anyone who has played the two Batman games from Rocksteady know that they excel at storytelling and so it was with great excitement I downloaded Harley's Revenge. Harley's Revenge takes place after the main story, and since you can access at anytime from the main menu it is highly suggested you complete Arkham City before reading this review or playing the aforementioned dlc. *Major Spoilers Below*

Harley's Revenge is a sort of epilogue to Arkham City. With the Joker and Talia dead Batman has gone into hiding and all his closest friends are worried. But Batman is forced to return to Arkham City when Harley kidnaps some police officers and taunts Batman into confronting her. What is interesting about this dlc is that for the majority of its run time you actually play as Robin with Batman having been successfully captured by Harley. Robin plays very similarly to Batman but his bo staff and a few unique items make him different enough to force a slight change in strategy. The main problem with this dlc is threefold its short, its linear and its $10. Put those three things together and its pretty hard to recommend this to anyone who isn't a hardcore fan. The dlc took me about 2 hours to complete and even though the time spent was fun and engaging thanks to the combat system and an interesting story premise, its that $10 hurdle that's tough to overlook.

Harley's Revenge should have been one in a myriad of Arkham City single-player dlc. Unfortunately it looks to be the first and last. Though the epilogue is fitting and maintains the high-bar set by Rocksteady in the main game its simply too short to have any impact. Harley's voice actress really steals the show with her grieving madness with the loss of Mr. J and made me forget about her typical shrilling voice. Playing as Robin is pretty cool, his character specific gadgets are a fun addition to the already fantastic combat but he is unfortunately restricted to a confined series of linear rooms (no open world for him). This dlc is just not enough for the asking price its as simply as that, the story extension is neat and the Robin segments are a nice change of pace, but overall this dlc is too little to late.

(3 out of 5)

Men in Black 3 Review

I am very interested to know who wanted this movie, I mean I understand that their is a certain fondness for the original but the sequel tanked and was shredded by critics and audiences alike. Now 10 years later and after a  long winding and bumpy production we have MiB 3, and its about 15 years too late. The jokes are dated the formula predictable and the actors are clearly not as invested as they were in their first outing. But thankfully MiB 3 does provide a nostalgic throwback as well as a heartfelt twist on the series as a whole.

Time travel is the conceit this time around and after a fun villain intro and a look at a typical day in the life of Agent K & J the story quickly sets up some plot hole ridden excuse to set the movie in 1969. Along the way though we are treated to a patch-worked overly conveinant story that has two count them TWO saving graces. Josh Brolin as young K is a revelation his impersonation is spot on and he seems to be the only one who is enjoying himself. Tommy Lee Jones is dependable as always but he seems extra "I'm just here for a paycheck". Will Smith who is always eminently watchable even in his worst films is simply going through the motions trying futilely to recapture that slick cocky attitude he displayed in all his movies in the 90's and has since moved away from. The last gem in this movie is Michael Stuhlberg as Griffin a 5th dimensional being who can see all possible universes at once, his performance is that of the quirky tag-along sidekick and the scenes he is in are easily the most fun and interesting. He gives a one note role such life I walked out thinking he should get his own movie. 

The movies real problem is the script which feels patched together from random ideas that clearly didn't originate from one seamless cognitive thought. The stop-n-go production clearly effected this movie as scenes flow oddly jumping from location to set piece with no real sense of rhythm; chase scenes are over as soon as they begin, nothing is earned everything conveniently falls in the laps of our heroes making them seem incompetent as if they couldn't get anything done without the script explicitly giving them what they needed. But the biggest failing of this movie is the complete lack of any humor, that's not to say MiB 3 all of a sudden became a dark introspective drama it just isn't funny like... at all. In fact it is painfully unfunny with every joke sucking the fun and joy out of the film like some horrible deep space vacuum. Will Smith uttering the phrase "shiznit" was so outdated and unfunny the entire audience, no exaggeration, let out an audible groan. Whoever wrote this film needs to step away from comedy forever, every single thing that is supposed to instill laughter is eye-rolling and simply falls flat.

MiB 3 is really unfortunate; its unfunny and the whole production just seems 15 years to late. The first movie should have been the last we saw of this franchise. This movie is a marked improvement over the abysmal second film but its infamous production setbacks cost this movie whatever semblance of good-natured fun it might have otherwise had. Two worthwhile performances and a sentimental ending that gives a whole new perspective on the series are the only saving graces of this film. Rent it if your feeling nostalgic but know going in this is not the MiB so many people fell in love with more than a decade ago.

(2 out of 5)

Community Three-Part Season 3 Finale Review

Community is not your typical sitcom, seemingly normal at glance but hiding a warm gooey center that includes a ventilation shaft dwelling monkey named Annie's Boobs. The humor in Community stretches from ludicrously absurd, hilariously racist, uncomfortably awkward, wildly random and even surprisingly poignant. Community gets away with a lot of insanity because it has a big heart whether for its lovable characters, general pop culture or even weird twisted sense of humor. Community is one of the few shows on television that is actually funny, like legitimately funny. Its absurdity and brazenness allows it to mine jokes from places other shows wouldn't dare attempt including but not limited to alternate universes, dungeons & dragons, paintball massacres, pan-sexual principle, and a character with Aspergers. But Community thrives on the genius minds and massive cojones of its writers and talented cast. 

"Digital Estate Planning" (5 out of 5)

Community has done visual gimmicky episodes in the past, with the clay-mation Christmas episode but "Digital Estate Planning" attention to detail and hilarious dissection of videogame tropes makes it an instant classic. Though wildly out of place falling in between the Greendale Seven's expulsion and the actual finale its easily forgiven for its clear loving lampooning of videogame culture. Whoever worked on the visuals for this episode deserves most of the credit, the attention to detail, the visual gags, and the inside humor was all spot on. The videogame designed by Pierce's blatantly racist father is stuffed to the brim with culture insensitivities and yet is surprisingly in-depth and the groups exploration of these two aspects are where the laughs originate. Troy constantly jumping around in the background, Abed falling in love with an NPC, even the nods to particular videogames from graphics to sound everything is handled with an obvious affection by writers and actors who clearly know and love the same pop-culture as its audience. The cameo from Breaking Bad baddie Giancarlo Esposito was also a fun if hamfisted addition.

"The First Chang Dynasty" (5 out of 5)

"The First Chang Dynasty" did two things exceedingly well, watching Chang's insanity come to fruition and a wonderful riff on heist movie style and cliche. Chang's Greendale is about as insane as I could have hoped, thrones and tiger statues, pre-pubescent security and keytar solos. Mix the insanity with another in a long line of Community cinematic homages and you've got another classic episode. The Ocean Eleven references were on in full effect, and watching the study group fill the standard heist rolls was great. As usual Troy and Abed were gold as fast talking plumbers and even the Dean who is holed up most of the episode shines when he gives is response for retaking his position at the school. The thing that I have always respected about Community is its respect for whatever happens to be the butt of the joke each episode, they don't simply point and laugh, the jokes come from personal experience and even unadulterated adoration. The heist spoof goes as far as to riff on typical heist editing style, the plan being explained while simultaneously being executed and even the surprise twist ending that doesn't go as planned. The end was fitting bringing back the season long plot of the air-conditioning repair school courting Troy to join their program in exchange for their help in part of the heist.

"Introduction to Finality" (2 out of 5)

This episode was boring, there I said it, I mean wow, after the two previous absolute killer episodes the actual final episode was a major letdown. While it wrapped up season long threads including Troy's trail and tribulations with the air-conditioning repair school as well as the evil Abed from the alternate timeline. It all just felt lacking, and the sidebar *pun intended* of the courtroom storyline felt forced and only lead to the now tepid and predictable Jeff motivational speech. What this episode lacked in innovation or interesting plot it made up for in generally great Community humor and a nice montage that could have served as a series finale wrap up. Though since getting a 13 episode fourth season it now seems out of place. Overall Community overcame its hiatus and season long high-wire balance between renewal and cancellation with its strongest season yet. #6SeasonsAndAMovie

BREAKING NEWS: BEEP ... BEEP BEEP BEEP... BEEP
I am receiving confirmed reports that Dan Harmon, creator of Community has been fired by Sony(the rights holders of the show). Sony has appointed two new "who-gives-a-fucks" to head up as showrunners for the upcoming fourth season. Sony has not released a full press-release and Dan Harmon has since had to respond in a non-official capacity on his blog which you can read here: (Dan Harmon: "Hey, Did I Miss Anything?" ) This does not bode well for the critically beloved show and its devoted fan following. Dan Harmon was an integral part of the show as it exists, sorry existed, his demented mind touched every script and his influence made Community the ridiculously absurd show we all knew and loved. It remains to be seen how this will effect the show moving forward into next season, but rest assured Community will not be the same.

P.S. <FUCK YOU, SONY>

Max Payne 3 Review

It has been nine years since the last Max Payne game and this time around development has been handed over to Rockstar Vancouver who previously worked on Bully. It is very clear from the word go that Max Payne 3 is a very different game than its predecessors, showing more of a resemblance to the recent Kane and Lynch series than either of the two previous Max Payne games. Gone is the comic book noir atmosphere and quirky self aware humor. Instead Rockstar opts to tell an disturbingly dark and mature story about a man at the end of his rope desperately grasping for some semblance of meaning to his life and in that is where the game succeeds the most. 

Few games better document the journey of a tortured drug addled alcoholic. Straight away the game is seeped in pulpy noir atmosphere and the Michael Mann/Tony Scott mash-up inspiration makes for an intoxicating experience. Rockstar is nothing if not bold, and Max Payne 3 is as bold as you can make a traditional third person shooter; yes that statement was meant to be underhanded and it’s what keeps Max Payne from reaching truly exceptional heights. Behind the impeccable level of graphical detail and master class storytelling and characterizations is just another third-person cover based shooter. That’s not to say the gameplay or the mechanics are bad they just aren’t very interesting anymore. The shoot dodge that made the original Max Payne unique at the time is now negated by a surprisingly brutal difficulty that forces you to activate slow-mo from behind cover and simply pick off enemies from a distance without any panache. I can count the number of times I leapt through the air guns blazing between my fingers, their just aren’t any moments that require or even allow that kind of play-style.

The game oozes atmosphere and the visual flair taken verbatim from any number of Tony Scott films is slick though sometimes overused. It’s appropriate when the action is chaotic but out of place when Max is simply walking through a favela in Sao Paulo, Brazil. The way the screen cuts into squares for transitions or splashes keywords across the screen all add to the unique visual style only a Rockstar game can provide. Max’s voice actor is also of the high caliber typical of Rockstar games with gruff and self-deprecating monologues mixed in among the shots of brown liquor and painkillers. The game does a fantastic job really selling the fact that Max Payne is a horrible piece of shit that has had horribly shitty things happen to him. Yet his compulsion to help the helpless and do good for the sake of some karmic equilibrium for the things he has done makes him an incredibly compelling character.

Max Payne 3 is another in a long line of impeccable Rockstar games. They simply know exactly how to deliver the best experience for whatever that particular game happens to be. The level of detail is unrivaled from broken glass to individually rendered bullets, everything in this game is of the highest quality including voice performances and even the synth-rock soundtrack which is fantastic. Max Payne 3 is undoubtedly one of the most all around well made third-person shooters. Yet every time you find yourself in another shootout amid the roughly 8-10 hour campaign no matter how incredible the set-pieces or varied the environments, you realize the mechanics simply aren’t anywhere near as engaging as the story, atmosphere or even Max himself.

(4 out of 5)

Quick & Dirty Reviews

21 Jump Street (2 out of 5)

The next entry in the increasingly predictable remakes that prey on audiences nostalgia hits with mediocre comedy, out of place violence and two leads who could not be less charismatic. 21 Jump Street attempts to give a raunchy twist on the 80’s television show to make its existence at least slightly more acceptable. But lame crude humor and painfully unfunny gags make this a chore to sit through. There is some decent action and legitimately smart self aware comedy but the introspective look on typical action movie cliché and the constant evolution of high school society isn’t enough to save this pitiful remake. Save for a hilarious cameo near the films end, this movie is forgettable and highly unnecessary.

In Time (3 out of 5)

Never has such a brilliant premise been capped at the knees more disappointingly by a lackluster script. It’s a crying shame In Time doesn’t expand and explore its premise of a world that runs on time; you see at the age of 25 everyone stops aging and an embedded internal clock exposed in the individuals forearm begins to tick down from 3 years. Time is the currency in this world, except if you run out of time, you die. Justin Timberlake plays Will Salas a blue collar worker who after saving a mans life in a bar is bestowed 116 years. From there the Timekeepers are after him, since Time is regulated and the rich stay young and the poor simply die. Salas kidnaps a billionaire’s daughter and begins robbing time banks, and ala Robin Hood gives to those less fortunate, spreading the time. This movie succeeds solely on its engaging leads and fascinating premise. But the standard generic story and horrendous time based puns hurt the movie tremendously. 


Haywire (3 out of 5)

Steven Soderbergh tackles another genre (spy thriller) and masterfully directs the films action and its MMA superstar Gina Carano. Unfortunately everything else falls by the wayside, Carano as expected is not a very good actress and her obviously audio mixed voice is incredibly distracting. The plot is also needlessly convoluted, jumping from twist to turn without every explaining the bigger picture. But on to the good stuff, Soderbergh directs with such flair its mesmerizing; the action is easy to follow and gut wrenchingly brutal, not violent just gritty and realistic. Carano unsurprisingly kicks serious ass in her fight scenes and watching her slowly kick the shit out of each member of the cast is half the fun. The movie plays against expectations and is better for it; every time a fight breaks out or a chase commences you expect the camera to start whipping around with quick cuts to emphasize movement and intensity. Instead Soderbergh does the opposite keeping the camera steady in the car during a chase helping immerse the viewer or keeping the camera steady as two people fight for their lives. Haywire is a stylish spy thriller that buckles under too many mediocre elements.


This Means War (1 out of 5)

An empty soulless attempt at an action filled romantic-comedy. The in-demand duo of Chris Pine and Tom Hardy lead an ill-fated mission to win the heart of The Spoon, sometimes known by her obscure name, Reese Witherspoon. This movie fucking sucked, I mean I could go into a whole ordeal about how The Spoon is a sunken whore of a human being in this movie as she leads on two men, just to see what it would be like to be with two guys at once. I could also mention how none of the characters make logical choices nor do they appear to be actual human beings at all, instead they seem a lot more like mannequins put on display by movie studio executives to lure poor idiotic movie goers. Everyone involved can and have done much better, and were it not for what I hope was an incredible paycheck none of these fine actors would have ever been involved in such an airless movie. This Means War is what anyone with a semblance of intelligence will be screaming at the makers of this movie by the time the credits role. Steer clear of this predictable, lazy, ugly piece of garbage.