Quick & Dirty Reviews

The Road (5 out of 5) 
It may surprise you to learn that The Road is actually a love story between a father and his son, albeit a bleak and hauntingly raw post-apocalyptic paternal love story. The Road contains one of the very best child performances ever committed to celluloid. Rarely can such a young actor convey such power and emotional range as Kodi Smit-McPhee and he does so at every turn. The ever reliable Viggo Mortensen gives his usual 110% in selling the absolute heart-breaking and demoralizing lengths this father is willing to go to protect his son in this savage and depressing new world. The Road is a movie with very little plot; it is a movie about circumstance. You follow this oftentimes silent father and son duo as they trek through this awful wasteland and you would still be hard-pressed to call this movie boring. This film is a masterpiece in minimalistic film-making, with long silent scenes of intense suspense and an apocalypse that is wholly believable as these two stumble upon abandoned homes, collapsed highways and legitimate concerns of cannibalists. Yet through all this doom and gloom the real message is one of hope, courage and the good in all of us. It's a wonderful film that may be too depressing for some viewers, but powerful performances and an original atmosphere make it worth the two hours of grey skies and the depravity of man.

Magic Mike (4 out of 5)

A sharp script and naturalistic performances make what could have been a shallow sex appeal movie into a interesting look into the lives of Tampa, Florida male strippers. Channing Tatum gives another in a quickly amassing collection of great performances, and as a former stripper himself he shows his talent in each of his routines. Matthew McConaughey is also fantastic as an aging stripper and owner of the club whose time in the limelight is fading but is desperate to keep it. Magic Mike directed by anyone other than Steven Soderbergh would have turned into something closer resembling a Step-Up movie, instead Soderbergh coxes real drama and genuine laughs that tears down any reservations male viewers may have. Soderbergh brings his usual deft directorial hands, allowing actors to improvise and keeping the camera on them longer than a typical scene to capture more grounded interactions. If you aren't confident enough in your sexuality and the thought of watching a male stripper movie worries you let me simply say there is no male nudity in this film though there is a fair share of female nudity, take that as you will, I simply think its incredibly ironic. Magic Mike is simply great film, don't let any predisposition sway your opinion before checking this movie out. Slightly left of center but still an engaging and entertaining trip through the stripping culture with its hundreds of cheering female screams highs and drug overdosing and overly competitive lows.

The Walking Dead (Game) Episode 3 Review

After the second episode I didn't think Telltales episodic tale set in the post apocalyptic world of The Walking Dead could A) get any darker or B) surprise the living shit out of me; but I should have known better. Episode 3 continues the astronomically high bar set by the previous two installments and raises it even higher. If the quality remains the same for the last two episodes, which at this point I have no reason to believe it wouldn't, this adventure game series from Telltale is poised to be my favorite game of the year if not the past few years. I wish, I really do wish I could convey the absolute train wreck this episode left me in, the best I can do is describe moments that occurred to me in the process of playing through this particular episode.

The game states up front "This game changes based on your actions and treatment of other characters". Characters you once trusted begin to reveal their true nature, brilliantly forcing you to question your allegiances and expect the worst from every situation. Fitting for a game set in the zombie apocalypse which in true Walking Dead fashion is actually about the other survivors as the zombies simply act as an obstacle. Telltale masterfully leads the player in certain emotional directions eliciting gut responses that are quickly and brutally followed up with a kick to the groin. Nothing is going to turn out the way you expect, and a particular situation I thought I had under control blew up in my face and someone payed the price with their life, and that is on me. And I honestly can not believe how hard I'm taking it, the moment is so perfectly and infuriatingly horrendous that it made me actively respond in an instinctive and brutal way that I didn't think I had in me, and even scarier, I in no way regret it. There was another moment that I won't spoil but it's a dream sequence, and in that one instant it scared me to death, not simply because of its jump scare delivery but because for the briefest of moments I felt like I failed in the one task this game has entrusted me with and that I had dutifully accepted. The entire experience of playing this episode was fucking phenomenal I was emotionally exhausted by the end, and yet wanted more.

For me this series is all about the story and the characters but I'd be remiss to not at least mention some other things. For instance this is still an adventure game and that comes with the typical tropes of the genre. Sometimes that involves trail-and-error puzzle solving, item combinations and, some aimless wandering around until you figure out the problem. Thankfully The Walking Dead is better written than most adventure games and some simple foreshadowing and off-handed character remarks make sure any given solution isn't to difficult to solve. The games visuals are also still impressive, with the comic book aesthetic really bridging the gap between these games and their paper-bound inspiration. The Walking Dead is an impressive piece of reactionary fiction (like that, just came up with that) not unlike Mass Effect but more grounded and for lack of a less coarse description, FUCKED UP. The characters are insanely well developed and aren't predictable, their thoughts and opinions change as often as yours do and that often leads to some major jaw dropping moments and high stakes drama. Do yourself a favor and start playing this series their cheap, at only $5 an episode, and experience one of the best character driven stories of this entire generation.

(5 out of 5)

Mass Effect 3: Leviathan DLC Review

Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in. After the scathing reaction to the original Mass Effect 3 ending and the subsequent scramble on BioWare's part to quell the outrage with a massive 2GB ending "fix". I didn't think I could ever be interested in anything BioWare put out let alone anything from the Mass Effect universe. But Leviathan teased a possible explanation as to the origins of the Reapers, the cataclysmic race bent on harvesting all organic life in the galaxy, and any insight into their past was reason enough for me to jump back in. Leviathan, while not lengthy feels substantial, there are four new areas to explore three of which are as big as any of the main story mission e.g., Mars, Palaven, etc. These three new environments are different from anything else in the game and provide gorgeous new vistas with one planet in particular being unlike anything the series has ever done before. And like it or not this piece of content dives, quite literally, into the depths of the controversy and attempts to explain some of the back-story to this Reaper predicament.

Sure is dark in the depths of this controversy 

Leviathan proposes to explain the origin of the Reapers and while it certainly does that, it comes with BioWare's now patented level of contradictory and convoluted story-telling. They explain the creation of the Reapers and the fan coined "Star-child" and put simply it's not satisfactory. They should have just left it alone and in my opinion they have dug themselves into an even deeper hole of nonsensical fiction. But this is still a Mass Effect adventure and it's a damn good one if a little unnecessary. There is a constant uneasy feeling as you play through this dlc having seen how this saga ends this adventure feels out of place as it takes place during the events of Mass Effect 3, which it has to, as anyone who has completed the game will tell you, but it simply feels weird. There is a great mixture of detective work and intense combat in this dlc, with Shepard asked to investigate the mysterious Leviathan, which after a tragic lab accident has Shepard piecing together clues and traveling the galaxy to unravel the mystery. Thankfully the quality of this little adventure is on par with Mass Effect 2's Lair of the Shadow Broker and Overlord and way better than From Ashes.

(4 out of 5)

Transformers: Fall of Cybertron Review

There has been a startling positive trend in videogames as of the past few years, licensed games have gone from shovel-ware put out to cash in on a franchise, to games that are made by fans for fans. It seems to have started with Rocksteady who set out to make a Batman game that fans could feel good about playing and more than succeeded with the Arkham games. High Moon did the same for Transformers with War for Cybertron. Now two years later we have a sequel with an improved narrative, more cinematic presentation and an epic scale that propel it far past its predecessor. Fall of Cybertron melds the two distinct Transformers camps, the nostalgic if dated 80's cartoon with the Michael Bay helmed roller coaster of chaos that are the feature films.

Fall of Cybertron is very similar to its predecessor, a third-person shooter with moments of vehicular traversal and combat. There are some minor differences like a tighter camera that makes the action feel more intense and a marked improvement in ammo distribution, meaning you'll be causing mayhem more often instead of scrounging for ammo. The vehicle segments have been tightened up as well with only two levels using it for any real length of time. Overall the game feels more polished and better paced, cutting some of the drawn out moments that made the first game drag in spots. Unfortunately that leaves a fairly short game, and while not uneventful (the final level is unapologetically badass) it does seem lacking for the $60 price. There is a pretty fleshed out and highly customizable multiplayer mode as well as the requisite wave-based survival game type but I think most people are coming to this game for the story and it's simply over to quickly. On a technical note, the game surprised me with how good it looked, especially the sheer size of the environments. While it is running on the Unreal engine which means it has some serious texture pop-in, when everything finally renders in, the world looks fantastic. High Moon took complaints to heart and added a more diverse color palette to the game as well so everything doesn't looks so dull and metallic. Fall of Cybertron goes through several big environment changes and it helps keep things visually interesting.

As the game progresses most chapters are dedicated to a single character, each controlling a bit differently from the last, Cliffjumper's chapter has him turning invisible for some stealthy action that play more like a puzzler than the usual trail-and-error. Jazz has a grapple hook he uses to maneuver around the environment like no other character can. All of these thing vary up the gameplay keeping it new and fairly challenging throughout. There was a big marketing push for this games inclusion of the dino-bots, in particular the fan favorite fire-breathing T-Rex Grimlock. His shining moment is defiantly a highlight for fans as it retcons the origin of the dino-bots while making it ten times more believable that dino-bots are on Cybertron. I think fans will eat all the new story content up, anyone with any affinity for the Transformers lore will tell this game was lovingly made by fans for fans. And anyone who still has an 8 year old somewhere within them will perk up with each character reveal, death or fight. Fall of Cybertron doesn't do anything new but improves enough over the original making this a fun trip through Cybertronian warfare with all your favorite Transformers. It's unfortunately hard to justify the price with such a short campaign but man am I glad Transformers got a great franchise.

(3 out of 5)

The Expendables 2 Review

With the first Expendables, Stallone and crew promised a return to the bombastic 80's and 90's era action movie. Instead we got a brainless and surprisingly dull movie filled with aging action stars that simply didn't command the same screen presence they used to. With the sequel Stallone hands over the directing reigns to the more capable Simon West who with a more self-deprecating script finally deliver the movie we were originally promised. The Expendables 2 is still dumb and their isn't even an attempt to develop characters or delve into motivations, but the action is more intense and no one is talking this seriously. Case in point a Chuck Norris cameo which openly acknowledges his internet meme status, as he and the Expendables exchange "is it true" stories which get more ridiculous with each new concocted premise. The villain this time around is played with scene chewing delight by Jean Claude van Damme, his character Vilain (dead serious) is trying to attain weapon grade plutonium from a conveniently abandoned Soviet mine to sell for money because he is the bad guy.

The film has a large cast and thus some characters are highlighted then get the shaft, Jet Li  for instance is only in the first 20 minutes. MMA fighter turned action star Randy Couture has two or three speaking lines. But the movie does know when to hand the film over for what the audience came to see. When Chuck Norris shows up its all about how mythical his status has become. Jokes are dropped constantly, most are eye rolling and groan inducing, especially anything that mentions these aging heroes previous works. The amount of callbacks are ridiculous and they aren't even funny. Terry Crews telling Schwarzenegger he''ll terminate him, or Bruce Willis fed up with Schwarzenegger saying, "you've been back enough, I'll be back" with a nonsensical "yippie kay yay" retort from Schwarzenegger.  They're all inanely reveling in their past glory but I guess its what people want to see.

Expendables 2 is in no way a great film, the acting is nonexistent, the plot is paper thin, the action is big and loud. The in-jokes are blatant and obnoxious. But damn if it isn't awesome watching Van Damme roundhouse kick Stallone or Chuck Norris single handedly kill 30 soldiers and destroy a tank. Thankfully director Simon West understood what was lacking from the first film and cranks the volume up to 11, this franchise need a boost of bombast and a lighter tone and its all the better for it. With the rumors of a sci-fi sequel with additions like Clint Eastwood, Harrison Ford, Nicholas Cage and John Travolta and even an all female spin-off; It looks like The Expendables are here to stay and that's looking like a more enjoyable prospect.

(3 out of 5)

Rhythm Thief & The Emperor's Treasure Review

When I heard about Rhythm Thief, a narrative driven rhythm game with a structure similar to the Professor Layton series I had only one thing to say, "Gimme". Rhythm Thief follows an orphaned boy Raphael and his dog Fondue as they steal priceless works of art around Paris disguised as the dashing Phantom R as they try to unravel the secret to his fathers disappearance. Along the way they encounter a young girl who is at the center of the mystery, a resurrected Napoleon Bonaparte and spontaneous dance montages. The core mystery isn't particularly interesting but there is an adolescent romantic tone to the proceedings that make it surprisingly engaging. But down to brass tacks this game is a rhythm game that pays homage to all the greats from the past like Space Channel Five and even modern classics like Elite Beat Agents. But amid the jaunty music and charming characters is an often brutal difficulty with irregular rhythm and a harsh penalty for missing any prompts.

Rhythm Thief excels because of its perfect mixture of different elements, from the 'groovy' soundtrack to the varied rhythm games (there are no more than 3 of any kind) and gorgeous animated cutscenes that convey its charming story. You do spend an unfortunate amount of time not in a rhythm game, instead backtracking across the map solving menial problems for the vibrant denizens of Sega's vision of Paris. This is unfortunate cause the game keeps a good pace, never dwelling on anything for too long and quickly changing up the game types to keep you guessing. But the fetch-quests and general meandering are clearly there for padding and drag down an otherwise well paced game. The jarring swings in difficulty are probably the games biggest weakness as it takes 20 or so well timed beats to raise your rank from a C to an B but only 1 or 2 misses to fall all the way down to a D. It simply seems broken, which makes it even more infuriating when you screw up in the frantic final few seconds of a game and ruin an otherwise perfect run. Also note to any 3DS developers, stop using the gyroscope feature just to add a bullet point to the back of the box, it simply isn't precise enough in a rhythm game likes this.

Rhythm Thief is a breath of fresh air, with the only decent games for the 3DS being published by Nintendo (third-parties are reluctant to develop for the middling install base of the 3DS) it has been sorely lacking the unique and charming games that rocketed the original DS into the hands of any self-respecting gamer. But if this game is a sign of things to come, there is nothing to worry about. The sequel tease at the end of this game suggests further adventures with Phantom R and I cant wait to jump back unto the dance floor with this thieving break-dancer.

(4 out of 5)

The Dark Knight Rises Review

In the film world an entire trilogy is almost never successfully pulled off, Spider-Man 3, X-Men: The Last Stand, Return of the Jedi, The Godfather Part 3. It's just simple probability that eventually one of the the films isn't going to live up to the incredible heights set by its predecessor, and this film has to follow up the unquestionably phenomenal second entry that has yet to be usurped as the single greatest superhero film of all time. And while this film doesn't even come close to recapturing the magic of The Dark Knight, we are still given a majestic, epic conclusion that not only gives this series a fitting poignant finale, but it retroactively makes the previous films better. By the time this film is over you can sense the threads that were lain back in the first film finally paying off dividends, themes of myths and legends, a sense of profound meaning in what makes a city and the ever present duty that Bruce Wayne feels he owes to Gotham. A lot of characters are brought into the fold in this third act of the series and while they're sometimes lost in the shuffle they fit into the world perfectly. Old stalwarts of the series get fitting conclusions and new inductees are left with a promising future. Christopher Nolan has successfully made the greatest comic book movie trilogy of all time.

To even remotely describe the plot would be to unravel and deflate three films worth of build up and character development, so I wont even attempt to describe the goings on. Suffice to say it's been nearly a decade since Harvey Dents death and subsequent cover up in the last film and Bruce Wayne has had to hang up the cowl. The Dark Knight Rises is a technical marvel, with practical effects taking the place of over the top bombastic action, cinematography so gorgeous it deserves awards and a Gotham that comes to life like never before. The sense of scale is massive as well with easily more than three hundred extras running and fighting in the streets. Nolan's films have always been a visual treat because at the core of every amazing special effects is a practical one. Maybe the newly introduced flying vehicle cannot soar but it is certainty physically present in the late movie chases and it all lends to the feeling of believability and large scale conclusion this film caps the series off with. The performances are all top notch, with each actor delivering dialogue that in typical Nolan fashion is oftentimes verbose and over explanatory with great verve and believability. Anne Hathaway steals every scene she is in, embodying the cat burglar Selina Kyle in a grounded and manipulative way like she has never been portrayed before. Bane on the other hand is a typical one dimensional villain with a carnival ring leader cadence to his voice. His motivations are never clear even after a late movie revelation which in my opinion was the saving grace of his character. He is an impressive physical adversary to Batman and their fights are brutal with painstakingly lingering shots instead of the typical action movie quick cuts.

The films run-time is just under three hours and its a determinant in a few surprising ways. This is not a boring movie, nor does it drag but the film does have pacing issues. The film moves in fits and starts, there are times of exhilarating action crammed in the middle of long expository scenes and it makes the movie feel weird. What surprised me so much was for a movie as long as this, story revelations or character reveals are relegated to 3 minutes of gotcha scenes which suck all dramatic weight out of a moment. Things are bluntly explained, characters brush off gaps in logic and the story overall unfolds too conveniently. There is one thing that the run time adds to the film, and that is a real sense of time. The fact that it takes Bruce so long to put on the cowl for the first time isn't frustratingly slow, its meaningful and when he final dons the cape it is rousing and exciting moment. And later in the film when Bane has taken control of Gotham and Batman finally returns from his imprisonment he is, for the first time in the whole film, physically and mentally 'back'. With a rousing score and a real emotional story the last act of this film is touching and inspiring and a perfect book end for one of the few absolutely pitch perfect film trilogy of all time.

Despite some clumsy story telling and odd pacing The Dark Knight Rises winds up being the perfect conclusion to Nolan's vision of Batman. There was never any way to top the previous film, and Heath Ledger performances will always define that movie in a unique way. But Tom Hardy as Bane is an imposing foe and Hathaway's Selina is a strong and morally ambiguous counterpoint to Bruce that when brought together share great chemistry and fight well back to back. Even seemingly bland Officer Blake played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt becomes a sympathetic and passionate character who lends his talents to Batman and the city of Gotham when the chips are down. Michael Cane even gets to stretch his dramatic talents as Alfred in one of the most heartbreaking moments in this series. These films when viewed together tell an intricate and complicated story of a man who sought vengeance and found salvation for himself and an entire city in an unstoppable and inspiring force, a symbol. When asked why I consider Nolan's Batman the greatest comic book film series of all time the answer is simple, while the likes of Iron Man and The Avengers are amazing 'comic book' movies (that's the conceit), The Dark Knight series is a masterclass of film-making that simply happens to star a comic book character.

(4.5 out of 5)