Transformers: Dark of the Moon Review

Michael Bay is a mastermind genius, I know the majority of people would vehemently disagree with me convincing me otherwise with arguments like plots in his movies are paper thin or his characters are all one dimensional and are almost always on the verge of insulting racism in their characterization. And truth be told I agree with all of these sentiments, but if there is one thing Bay can do is illicit some of the strongest reactions and emotions out of an entire theater of people that I have ever seen. Watching Dark of the Moon the latest in the Bay line of Transformer movies was a learning experience for me, because for every joke I would winch at the audience would respond with uproarious laughter. When Optimus Prime gives a speech so cheesy and melodramatic I would roll my eyes the crowd instead would cheer and holler in a overwhelming wave of applause. And that is when I knew this movie is an astounding accomplishment. It is so implicitly entertaining and constantly jaw-dropping that it gave me the best experiences I've ever had in a theater.

This is normally where I would describe the plot of the movie, and the journey the main characters go through to reach their end goal. I might also mention something about character arcs and emotional development. But lets be honest this is not only a Michael Bay movie but a Transformers movie so all that fly's out the window directly followed by a hail of bullets and fireball explosion. Suffice to say Decepticons are up to no good with some elaborate plot to destroy all the Autobots and take over Earth and the entire human race. Sam (Shia LaBeouf) is out of college and looking for his first job, and has somehow managed to find a girlfriend even hotter than Megan Fox with Carly (Rosie Huntington-Whiteley). Quickly (an hour into the movie) everything goes to hell in a handbag when the Decepticons begin the first phase in their plan and Sam is thrust back into the war and forced to take action when everyone around him seems to be ignoring the not so subtle clues about a full on invasion that is about to occur.

While the first hour of the movie is mostly boring as it deals solely on characters that mean nothing to anybody and is filled to the brim with Bay's signature style of childish and immensely unfunny comedy. This is the worst part of the movie and is often times excruciatingly long boring and overwrought with things being explained and re-explained as if the audience is actually invested in the rich fiction and story. It isn't until the Decipticons start assassinating the humans that have helped them stay undetected that the movie starts kicking into high gear with a montage of slightly horrifying murders across the country. Once this very small bit of action begins the movie barely gives you time to breath, with the Decipticons continuing to find success in their plan. Pretty soon the entirety of Chicago is attacked and falls siege to their plan as they get ready to transport via teleportation devices their home planet of Cybertron into Earth's orbit. They create a fortress of sorts that prevents any military from getting anywhere near the city. So its up to Sam a group of ex-NEST soldiers (the Autobots human allies) to infiltrate the city and save Sam's girlfriend who is trapped in the center of the city.

The last hour and a half of Dark of the Moon is a spectacular orgy of CGI destruction and a robot brawling free for all that pleasure the senses with its gleeful and unrelenting assault on the city of Chicago and its citizens. The final battle exceeds all expectations and limitations of what can be shown on screen, the massive scale which the film uses to exact its mind blowing spectacle is incredible, buildings collapse and the frightened people inside actually die. Dark of the Moon is a much more violent affair than the previous Transformers films and it benefits from that since the destruction is given weight knowing hundreds of thousands of lives are at stake. Many characters die including much beloved Transformers and even some of their human allies. The death of some characters along with the unmitigated violence of innocent people actual struck a cord for me it was shocking to say the least in a big tent-pole seemingly family friendly film that such devastation was being caused in a major American city, and not some sand pile in the middle of nowhere like the previous film.

The action really is exhilarating, Michael Bay must get off putting his actors in the most intense barely survivable situations imaginable and there are more than a dozen of these moments. The collapsing building seen so many times in the trailer is the stage for one of the most stunning and intense moments in the movie with Sam, Carly and some NEST soldiers falling, sliding, hanging, and jumping throughout the building as it crumbles to the streets below. Another incredible sequence follows a group of airborne marines jumping out of a plane in what is known as squirrel suits, which provide great maneuverability once in free fall, the camera in this sequence gets in so close it looks incredible as they dive and swerve around buildings and dodge the relentless "Bayham" that surrounds them. In the last hour of Dark of the Moon, Bay owns your ass, as he assaults all your senses with unique and death defying set pieces and deafening audio that has you winching and ducking your head as you run through the decimated city alongside Sam and the Autobots.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon is the natural escalation point for the series, and yet it deifies expectations and provides exhilarating bombastic action you can't find anywhere else. All the normal criticisms for Michael Bay and the Transformers movies are still here but check your brain at the ticket booth and just enjoy the spectacle. Their is no other movie like it. When the entire theater jumps out of their chairs whopping and hollering and cheering no less than 5 times throughout the movie, you know there is something really unique on display. I know many people will be outright disgusted with this movie, but I for one cant recommend it enough, as big dumb summer movie you just can't go wrong. Sit through the boring bits and clench your fist at the bad puns and low brow humor. The key is to not examine this movie, like at all. The fun is there, an entire theater of people cant be wrong... can they ?

(4 out of 5)