The Last Airbender Review

The Last Airbender is the worst offense to the eyes and ears I have ever witnessed. A legitimately offensive movie, that will require you to withstand the torture that comes with withstanding its baffling plot, increasingly horrendously written dialogue, terrible effects in what is ultimately a completely soulless and joyless movie. Top to bottom I never thought I could be more disgusted with a movie like I was for The Last Airbender, I was genuinely offended whenever a character opened their mouths. It is what i imagine the Holocaust was like except Hitler was nice enough to kill his prisoners, those who find themselves watching The Last Airbender will not receive that privilege.

Every actor in this movie, is giving the absolute worst performance of their lives. The main character Aang is played by a completely unknown actor, who as far as I am concerned was crafted in the fires of Mount Doom because I have never seen such a black hole of emotion or talent, those around him suffer just from being in the same scene. What makes all the performances even worse are the words that leave their mouths. Never has there been such a clinical approach to dialogue, in which everything is said just to said, an emotion must be expressed in words, "Because I'm Angry" destinations must be said loudly and clearly-- even whilst being hunted by warring tribes-- "We should go to the southern water nation". Words are thrown around loosely with complete disregard for their impact on the current scene. The myriad of exposition monologues, where we as the audience are told what is happening instead of things developing naturally, are frequent and boring so that by the end of said speech, we still don't know what the hell is going on.

I could go on and on about the atrocities to cinema this movie commits but its all meaningless. Stay far far away from this movie. If you happen to glance upon the box sitting on a shelf at the local Best Buy do yourself a favor and stab yourself in the eye, that jolt of pain will at least deter the sense of failure and hopelessness for the whole of the human race you would have otherwise felt.

(Negative Infinity out of 5)