Quick & Dirty Reviews

MOVIES

The Bling Ring (2 out of 5) 

Sofia Coppola directs a wasted opportunity with decent performances that go nowhere. A superficial script and lack of a focused plot mean that The Bling Ring consistently struggles with finding the "point". It's a flippant criticism I'll admit but there is a general lack of urgency in the robberies and the plot never finds its message. Every second I was enjoying the wonderful cinematography on display in The Bling Ring I kept wondering when is this movie going to say something. The film seems uninterested in delving into the potentially fascinating minutia of these high schoolers obsessions with grand larceny and the privileged few with celebrity status. The Bling Ring flirts with a message but never settles on anything more than a generally disengaged effervescent tone.

All the Boys Love Mandy Lane (2 out of 5)

All the Boys Love Mandy Lane is an unfortunate amateur production with a clever twist on the classic horror genre. Originally shot seven years ago with the then unknown Amber Heard as the titular character, All the Boys Love Mandy Lane is finally getting released. It's simply been gestating too long after an overly hyped initial showing at the Toronto Film Festival. Mandy Lane like Cabin in the Woods before it, sets up a traditional 70's slasher flick and flips it on its head. It isn't the revelation that Cabin in the Woods ended up being nor is it humorous in any way but it's a relatively ingenious take on an increasingly stale genre. Poor performances an unskilled use of a grindhouse aesthetic and an overall cheap production keep Mandy Lane from finding its footing among the subversive horror film niche. All the Boys Love Mandy Lane is mainly aimed at horror buffs who can appreciate the minor nods and alterations to the classic formula and is worth a rental at the very least.

The World's End (4 out of 5)

The World's End is the least outwardly comedic of the Simon Pegg, Edgar Wright team-up films but the films strong emotional arch hits harder than any of the three previous films. The World's End finds a group of old high school friends reliving a failed bar crawl attempt. Simon Pegg and Nick Frost swap their usual roles, Pegg playing the man-child and Frost the straight man. Both give phenomenal performances for a film that deceptively fronts itself as a sci-fi comedy. The films thought provoking themes of friendship, alienation, addiction and homogeneity invite analysis to an already ripping fun sci-fi comedy. In typical Wright fashion, The World's End is sharp, stylishly shot, action packed and refreshingly thoughtful. A genre film that purports to entertain and enlighten. Not as gut-bustingly hilarious as Hot Fuzz nor as seminal as Shaun of the Dead, The World's End is still the perfect conclusion to the jokingly dubbed "Three Flavors Cornetto Trilogy".

VIDEO GAMES 

Splinter Cell: Blacklist (4 out of 5)

With Splinter Cell: Blacklist Ubisoft has delivered one of the best entries in the series along with a sleek package that impresses throughout. Blacklist is an oddity in franchise entries, it takes place after the events of the previous installment, Conviction, but a redesigned and recast Sam Fisher imply a reboot. It's a bit of both and all the better for it, the new Fisher is less drunk (sorry Ironside) and the mechanics introduced in Conviction meld perfectly with this entertaining return to form. There will be those who believe the stealth elements have been eliminated but in fact they are as difficult yet rewarding as each player chooses to make them. The game encourages multiple play styles ranging from guns blazing to pacifist and the game is thoroughly engaging regardless of the route you choose. Start off stealthy but end in a firefight, the game scales perfectly never making it appear like there is only one "right" way to play the game. The story is the stereotypical lingo heavy military circle-jerk that's par for the course with the Tom Clancy brand. But large and varied environments, a healthy amount of content and perfectly honed stealth mechanics make the stories heavy-handed political commentary easily forgivable. Blacklist proves that beloved a franchise can be reinvigorated with a healthy dose of innovation while still maintaining the series core tenants.

Medal of Honor: Warfighter (1 out of 5)

Warfighter proves that blindly following trendsetters is a surefire way to develop a mindless and shallow also-ran that brings absolutely no new ideas to the fore. Seemingly content with scraps EA pathetically attempts to capture the Call of Duty audience with this passionless excuse for entertainment. Painfully linear and derivative Warfighter can lay claim to absolutely none of its implemented features or mechanics. The detailed environments and high graphical detail masquerade as a quality production but instead reeks of tactical misdirection to fool unsuspecting potential players. The oftentimes hilarious utter lack of variety rears its head up and spits in your face repeatedly as more than a few levels begin with an enemy standing directly in front of you with a fat button prompt implying you should kill the faceless brown goon. The very notion that this predictable and oft-overused level set-up is reused multiple times is mind boggling and damn near offensive. All of these scathing comments are not directed at the developers though they share some of the blame for unoriginality, no instead the brunt of these criticisms are laid in front of EA and their desperate pleas for attention in the already inundated market of modern military first person. The games only saving grace is that it'll only test your patience with mind-numbing tedium for 4 hours in what can only be interpreted as humane.

Castle of Illusion (3 out of 5)

Castle of Illusion is another in a recent trend of classic Disney game re-releases, a stunning recreation of the classic Genesis game of the same name. But while the game oozes charm it conceals a series of crippling technical issues. It is completely unacceptable that I was forced to scavenge around forums and download an unofficial patch to make the game playable. Without said patch the game is inexplicably locked at 30 FPS and suffers from unresponsive controls; an unforgivable state for any game to be left in. But once I freed the game from its FPS shackles what laid in wait was a fun Disney ride. The 3D interludes that punctuate every level are clear indicators that this is more than a simple HD re-release praying on nostalgia alone to justify its existence, I'm looking at you DuckTales. Time and effort was clearly spent making the game exude whimsy and joy with wonderful animations and great music and it all helps make this simple platformer shine a bit more brightly. The significant technical issues hold this otherwise fantastically re-imagined production back.